I was almost in all evil in the midst of the congregation and assembly.
-Proverbs 5:14
I was dumb, I got dumber, I’m the dumberest.
At least that’s what the man of Proverbs 5 seems to be saying. His lament is one that way, way too many guys can relate to:
“I didn’t listen, I gave in to my appetites, and now I’m close to ruin right here in the middle of the congregation. I’m surrounded by believers, but in my failure and all the shame coming with it, I am so very alone.”
Horrible stuff. There’s a couple ways we can take this man’s description of himself as being “in all evil in the midst of the congregation.” Either his sin is now an open scandal in the church, or he’s in the middle of a fellowship where no one knows about his private compromise. So he sits there among the believers defiled, guilty, and very aware of how far he is from where he’s supposed to be.
I don’t know which is worse: I’m in a Scandal, or I’ve Got a Secret. Pick your torture.
Naked and Very Ashamed
Believers say we live by certain standards. They define us, not entirely but largely, so we’re trusting each other to stay within them. When someone doesn’t, and their error hits the fan, it’s rough on everyone.
It’s demoralizing to those of us who struggle, sometimes daily, to make the right decision when the wrong desire comes over us. We feel like saying, “If I’m going through the hassle of saying no to my flesh, why can’t you?”
And discouragement spreads when someone openly falls, because we’re inclined to think, “Another one bites the dust. Everyone seems to be giving in to the porn, wrong attractions, wrong whatever. What makes me think I can stay pure if no one else does?”
Worse, of course, is the wound it inflicts on the spouse and kids whose lives get turned upside down because someone decided his pleasure took priority
over their safety.
Like I said, demoralizing. Making it all the more shameful for the naked sinner in our midst, the subject of talk and indignation. The word’s out: He got caught, and now maybe he’ll lose his loved ones, job, or ministry. He’s the latest casualty, and we’re hurting with him.
That’s one kind of calamity in the congregation we hear about with heartbreaking regularity.
Silent Suffering
Then there’s quiet calamity, and we’ve lots of that going on, too. King David knew all about that when, describing how he tried ignoring the adultery and murder he’d committed, he wrote:
When I kept silence, my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day long. For day and night thy hand was heavy upon me: my moisture is turned into the drought of summer.
Psalm 32: 3-4
Yesterday we all worshipped together. I can’t help but wonder how many of our brothers, knowing they were in the middle of an adulterous affair, or recovering from yet another porn binge, lifted their hands and sang with bones waxing old and dryness kicking in. That’s a dark, lonely place to be.
A Better Way
And being there is totally unnecessary. Some things still work. Repentance and confession are two of them. If you’re enduring a quiet calamity because of unrecognized, significant sin in your own life, then you are creating your own terrible judgment. The wounded conscience, the depression, the fear of exposure – these are miseries God’s not inflicting on you. They’re needless burdens you keep piling on yourself, and He’d so love to relieve you of them!
You can still turn this around. As long as you have the ability to breathe a prayer of confession, talk to a trusted believer, and take steps to distance yourself from that taskmaster who you’ve given way too much control to, then you can find that blessedness David talked about when he gushed:
Blessed is the man whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered!
-Psalm 31:1
We’re all so blasted tired of needless calamities. We’re weary of scandals, bad news, urgent prayer requests alluding to moral failures. We’d really love to be there for anyone who’s ready to make the break, and as someone who’s had to do just that, I feel like a spokesmen for NutriSystem who lost 80 pounds and is now saying, “Hey, if I can do it, anybody can!”
Maybe today’s your day, and if so, I’m sure you know who you are and what needs to be done.
From all of us, with all our hearts, we say, “Please do it.”
